Neither Here Nor There  (a Web Log)

Sunday, May 11th, 2008

1943 Guide To Hiring Women, by L. H. Sanders
Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees:

There is no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters. They are less likely to be flirtatious. They need the work, or they would not be doing it. The still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It is always well to impress upon older women, the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the company against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job. Transit companies that follow this practice report a surprising number of women turned down for nervous disorders.

5. Stress at the outset, the importance of time; the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they will keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous companies say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.
8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.
9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they cannot shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she will grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point cannot be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

Yes, that was from 1943...sixty-five years ago. But here's a fascinating factoid which should underline how recently (and how quickly) things have changed as regards women in the American workforce: in 1963, at the local research headquarters of what is now the world's second largest oil company, a six-story, three-wing office/laboratory building was constructed. At the time, although it was the largest building on the premises, it had no Women's restrooms! That's right! There were six Men's rooms...one on each floor! Hard to believe, perhaps, but quite true! There were no women in the petrochemical workforce and no architect foresaw that there ever would be! Within ten years of this building's completion, the company did convert three of the Men's rooms to Women's rooms so now there's a Women's room on every other floor of this edifice. All the Women's rooms (intended for  employees) were also fitted with a 'lounge area'...once considered a standard 'accessory', but now the subject of discussions about 'reverse discrimination' as in: 'how come the Men's rooms don't get a 'lounge'?

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Time for some quickie movie reviews...

No Country For Old Men: this is a flick that you are required to see if for no other reason than that it's received so much attention and because it won Best Picture in the latest Academy Award presentations. It's very violent but skillfully produced, directed and acted. The pacing is superb! However, in the end, I found it to be unsatisfying or, to once again lean on Orson Welles: 'Whether or not you have a happy ending depends upon where you stop your story.'

There Will Be Blood: a strong, original (type of) movie but a bit of a tooth grinder with a rich helping of violence. From the title, one is not expecting things to end happily...and they don't. But the lead actor, Daniel Day Lewis, is in command from start to finish. He richly deserves his Academy Award for Best Lead Actor. 

Atonement: for me, this one falls into the category of "how come it was so well-received?" Blessed by the presence of two good-looking leads (Keira Knightley and James McAvoy), the film starts off strong. But about thirty-five minutes along, the director decided it was no longer necessary to keep his audience apprised of any plot developments. Perhaps that's because there is no plot! Well...maybe that's unfair. There is the beginning of a plot: upper class, nubile young lady falls in love and has frenzied sex with a lad from the servant class. Said lad (through a convolution of random circumstances) is wrongly accused, arrested, convicted and imprisoned for the rape of a minor. That's it! Not only does the film thereafter lose its chronological threads (and not to any creative effect as in, say, Memento), but at times the dialogue is so poorly recorded (and in such clipped British accents) as to be nearly unintelligible. Mercifully, by about ninety minutes in, the viewer will have ceased to care about whatever is being discussed. This dreary, sappy creation languishes for two hours and ten minutes and, in the end, cops out with the help of Vanessa Redgrave, who tells us that most of it never happened! Oh God!

American Gangster: like Atonement, this movie was well-received...but not by me. I'm a big Russell Crowe fan and this is the only film I can recall that was not wonderful simply because he was in it. And it's not that he does a bad job in the character of Richie Roberts, a 'rare honest cop'. It's just that the based-on-actual-events story is so violent and so depressing that one wonders how even its creators lived through making it. Denzel Washington plays Frank Lucas, a real-life African American mob boss who is, by turns, ruthless and generous. From the start, the viewer senses that, whatever hope might briefly emerge for these individuals (living with urban blight, rural squalor, physical pain or cultural deprivation), it will never be realized. Doom pervades the landscape. I was hoping that the film might explore the hypocrisy and harm of our drug laws, but there is nary a hint of such reflection. The director was too busy slaughtering his cast to look up and around. No one (not even Richie Roberts) emerges a hero. I don't watch movies to be brought down. I wanna be inspired, informed, amused or titillated and this movie doesn't do any of those things. It's three hours of misery that should never have been released. 

Dan In Real Life: the nicest thing I can say about this lightweight venture is that it's not depressing. It's also not compelling. There's a lot of 'filler'. But Steve Carell has sweet comic timing and it's hard not to warm to him. There are some laughs, which mostly involve Steve's deadpan interactions (as a widowed single dad) with his three daughters. This is a 'safe' (PG-13) movie. You won't be embarrassed to watch it with your ten year-old son or with your hard-of-hearing ninety-year-old mom. Now, it would have been nice if someone had bothered to write a story to go along with all the action but...what the hey! The only item that elevates this movie over other general-fare forgettables is the presence of Juliette Binoche. She is delightful! 

51 Birch Street: OK...this movie is unusual. It's a ninety-minute documentary that fifty year-old Doug Block made about his family in a New York suburb. Specifically, it's about his mom and his dad and their long marriage. Turns out his mom (who died before the film was conceived) had kept a diary for the last thirty years of her life. The way the film begins, the viewer is led to expect that murder, kidnapping or incest (or some dastardly deed) will be revealed. Nah. Doug had a good idea for a project but his subjects are simply not very interesting people! In fact, they're grotesquely ordinary people and, although it's quite mean for me to say, they're also not very good-looking people (a circumstance that doesn't enrich any movie). Perhaps it's the lack of makeup...or the unflattering close-ups? (See, I'm trying to be kind.) Doug himself, though especially unfortunate looking, is downright gorgeous next to his oldest sister. The movie runs out of gas long before the credits roll. There's lots of  'ya know' followed by pregnant pauses and 'are you happy?' The film does sport an agreeable sound track and there are some tasteful cinematic 'tricks'. What's lacking is anything of interest.  

Friday, May 9th, 2008

Thursday, May 8th, 2008    

Helen Thomas will be eighty-eight years old in August.                        Dana Perino will be thirty-six years old tomorrow.

Helen Thomas: Yesterday, according to The New York Times, we dropped a bomb on a home in Sadr City and burned alive a pregnant woman and her children. How long is the siege of Sadr -- how long are we going to keep bombing Iraqis?
Dana Perino: Well, I'm not aware of that particular report. I have not -- I've not seen it.
Helen Thomas: Well, it was pretty buried in the story.
Dana Perino: Okay. Well, the operation against the militias in Sadr City will continue until they root them out. And that is expressly in order to protect people like you just mentioned.

Helen Thomas: Root who out, Iraqis, in their own country?
Dana Perino: It is Prime Minister Maliki's government which is going after the militia, which is appropriate.
Helen Thomas: Why are we bombing these people?
Dana Perino: Any time anyone that is an innocent civilian is hurt in a conflict, we obviously regret it, and we go out of our way to make sure it doesn't happen.
Helen Thomas: Thank you.

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge.
Adolf Hitler

It is seldom possible to reason someone out of a point of view that he did not reason himself in to.
 JKS

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008                             Success has a thousand fathers but failure is an orphan.

"And a year from now, I'll be very surprised if there is not some grand square in Baghdad that is named after President Bush. There is no doubt that, with the exception of a very small number of people close to a vicious regime, the people of Iraq have been liberated and they understand that they've been liberated. And it is getting easier every day for Iraqis to express that sense of liberation." 9/22/2003

"He (President Bush) came ill-equipped for the job and has failed to master it."  5/14/2007

Richard Perle, Chairman of The Defense Policy Board Advisory Committee during Bush's first term.
Rat from a sinking ship.

Monday, May 5th, 2008

"I tell people that, first of all, it's been a huge honor to serve the country, and I'm really glad I did. What's probably counterintuitive to you is that this has been a great experience for our family. I've lived in the White House now for seven and a half years, and the furniture is interesting -- but it's like a museum. You know, obviously, there's some good days and some bad days. I feel so strongly about my principles and my values and I'm an optimistic guy; that what may appear to be really difficult to deal with -- like my buddies from Midland, Texas -- that for me it's just part of the job. Interestingly enough, it is a lot harder to have been the son of the President than to be the President. And so it's been a joyous experience. You know, one of the great, really fun things we do is we welcome our pals from West Texas to the White House, and they come to the Oval Office, they're walking around; they say, 'man, I can't believe I'm here!' And then they take a look at me. So the first thing is I'm heading home. I came from Texas with a set of values, and I'm going to go home with the same set of values. In order to be making consistent decisions in this complex world, you can't be shifting your principles in order to be the popular guy. I guess I'll go home and mow the lawn." 
Excerpted from a borderline-coherent address delivered last Friday to the employees of World Wide Technology Inc., of Maryland Heights, Missouri.

 "Watching Bush speak, you realize he's a really dumb person who thinks everyone in the room is even dumber than he is!"
Duncan Black

Sunday, May 4th, 2008

"What goes up must come down." 

Asceticism is the philosophy (or the practice) of self-denial. It derives from the Greek word 'askesis' which refers to 'exercise' or 'bodily training'...particularly 'athletic training'. 
In our modern-day, asceticism has acquired a pejorative connotation. It is associated with self-flagellation, fasting and the denial of bodily pleasures. Saint Augustine (354-430) said that it was only after a great deal of 'work' on himself that he was 'finally able to eat without pleasure'. But Augustine was a complicated man who also asked the Lord to 'give him chastity...but not yet! '
Strands of asceticism are a part of every religious doctrine. The rationale is simple: man is drawn to physical pleasure...but all such pleasures are fleeting. All are distractions from the 'pure' life of the spirit and many are dangerous. One can never find lasting happiness in the pursuit of physical pleasure. There will always be 'a price to pay'. For some pleasures, that price is obvious. A drug taken to 'deal' with one problem (even if that 'problem' is mere boredom) can often becomes a new problem all its own! There's always a letdown and usually even a reversal, where what once was a source of pleasure becomes a source of pain. The alternative to the pursuit of physical pleasure is, of course, a life of 'sameness'. For many, that sameness is intolerable and, therefore, the ups and downs of a life in pursuit of pleasure are preferable!  
Self-denial as a tool for spiritual growth and enlightenment has long been taken past the 'simple' avoidance of sex, food, drink, drugs and rock 'n roll. In the Catholic Church, for example, Priests, Nuns and Brothers are forbidden to marry. That is,  family life is denied to them. The most extreme abstentions are practiced by cloistered orders of monks and nuns in monasteries and convents where even peer-to-peer bonding (AKA friendship) is denied! For many people, this simply seems perverse as, for many people, the very concept of spiritual growth and development is chimerical. 

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008                            Happy Birthday, Vic!

This, courtesy of my baby sister: 

Harpocrates is the Greek name for the Egyptian child-god Horus, the personification of the dawning of each day and often depicted with a finger to his mouth...giving a signal to be quiet.
Cupid, the son of Mercury and Venus, is the Roman counterpart to Eros, the Greek God of sexual love. 

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

"Tomorrow, we mark the fifth anniversary of the now infamous 'Mission Accomplished' speech, which was delivered by President Bush on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln on May 1, 2003. Five years ago, I took issue with the President’s choreographed political theatrics because I believed that our military forces deserved to be treated with respect and dignity, and not used as stage props to embellish a presidential speech.
The President’s declaration of 'Mission Accomplished' and the 'end of major combat operations' proved wildly premature and dangerously naïve. The complete lack of foresight and planning by the President for what lay ahead became tragically clear in short order. Our nation continues to pay the price every single day. More than 97% of the more than 4000 Americans killed in Iraq lost their lives after the President’s flashy declaration of victory.
Years from now, I expect that history books will feature the sorry 'Mission Accomplished' episode as the epitome of this administration’s reckless and
arrogant foreign policy, which has reaped disastrous consequences for our nation and the world. We have seen a President who is eager to use American troops for a political backdrop, yet is seemingly indifferent when it comes to providing them with the equipment they need, quality health care, or a real plan for ending the war.
President Bush has said that history will judge him on his decision to go to war in Iraq. I say that history is already delivering its verdict. It is evident in the strains of the long and multiple deployments that are wearing down our mighty military, and in the suffering of the American people as they bury their fallen heroes. It is evident in the fear and distrust with which the rest of the world views us, and in the instability wracking the Middle East, Iraq and Afghanistan as a result of the Bush policies. President Bush has recklessly squandered more than 200 years of American leadership, good will, and prosperity. If that is what he was aiming for when he took office, then he can claim 'Mission Accomplished.' "
Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia, speaking yesterday on the Senate floor.

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Just because I never heard of Healthways doesn't mean that they (it) don't (doesn't) mean somethin' to somebody. Near as I can tell, it's some kind of an industry consulting conglomerate (with a Doctor Senator Bill Frist odor about it)...some kind of a 'think tank'...specializing in issues of 'health' (broadly defined). 
Anyway...whoever or whatever they (it) are (is) just paired up with the Gallup Organization to create something called the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index. Here's some of what that Index tells us about life here in the States:

One in twenty-five of us (4%) is (are) downright fucking miserable! Forty-seven percent of us are 'struggling'...with things like being broke, being old, being sick, being bored...or being married. So...by the very narrowest of margins, most of us are bummed! The other (let's see) 49%? Well...we're 'thriving' (fer the luv uv Jesus)!
According to Princeton Professor Emeritus Danny Kahnerman (a windy old trout), "Unmerciful disaster follows fast and follows faster." To which Nobel Laureate Professor Gene Higgins (Danny's coffee buddy at DC's Woodrow Wilson School in DC) adds the startling observation that "...illness increases feelings of stress, sadness and worries about money." In addition, the Index reveals that two thirds of us are fat or very fat and two thirds of us are sick or very sick. 
Finally (and don't say you weren't warned): although you and I won't be around all that much longer, Gallup Chairman and CEO Jim Clifton has threatened to keep doing this Well-Being Index for at least the next hundred years!

PS: Before you hang yourself, try moving to Denmark, where the Index reports that 83 percent of folks are thriving and only one percent are miserable. Can't afford the plane ticket? Then console yourself that you don't live in Cambodia, where only two percent are thriving and everyone else is too busy scaring up  something to eat to take part in the survey! 

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

Class Distinctions

By now, we all know the difference between a Harley and a Hoover: it's the location of the dirtbag!

But how many know the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Give up? OK...see, with a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!

Monday, April 28th, 2008                           Happy Birthday, Gail!

Sunday, April 27th, 2008

"Labels give satisfaction. We are worshippers of words and labels. By calling ourselves this or that, we ensure ourselves against further disturbance, and settle back. One of the curses of organized beliefs is the comfort, the deadly gratification they offer. They put us to sleep, and in the sleep we dream, and the dream becomes action. How easily we are distracted! And most of us want to be distracted; most of us are tired out with incessant conflict, and distractions become a necessity, they become more important than 'what is'."


Jiddu Krishnamurti, (1895-1986)

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

I just finished watching Lions For Lambs. From all I have heard over the years, Robert Redford is one helluva guy! He's got all the 'right' opinions (on the environment, for example) and, for two generations of movie-goers, he has been the person that every white guy has, at one time or other, wished he could resemble. Ya know, we mortals would say stuff like (in reference to some other slob whose looks we did not admire), "Gee...he makes me look like Robert Redford!" Or (in reference to a different slob whom we wished to compliment for something other than his looks):  "Well, he won't be mistaken for Robert Redford but..."
Yet, for all his enviable attributes, Robert Redford cannot act, never could and it is not clear that he has ever even tried. Lions For Lambs is a Redford-bankrolled-and-directed anti-Iraq War project and, word is, Tom Cruise and Meryl Streep both accepted major roles in this 92 minute yawner out of 'respect' for Mr. Redford. Yes. I believe that they were motivated by something other than money or artistic satisfaction. Cruise probably shot all of his scenes in one day. (He appears in only one setting and in only one set of clothes.) Streep might have needed two days. 
Almost all of this movie consists of didactic dialogue. It's faintly insulting, actually, because one is given to wonder whether Mr. Redford has deliberately dumbed-down his 'pitch'...or if he himself actually is such an intellectual welterweight.
Robert, born eleven days before John McCain, will be seventy-two this year. He is not once filmed walking (or even standing up) but the makeup crew was tasked with making him appear to be not-a-day-over-sixty for this amorphous role as a soon-to-retire Political Science professor mentoring foul-mouthed twenty-year-olds. The (visual) result is less like The Sundance Kid and more like a figure on loan from the Hollywood Wax Museum...after the air conditioning had been out for a few days. 

Friday, April 25th, 2008

About eight years ago, I had an Internet pen pal from Alabama. I surprise myself now to admit that I don't, for certain, any longer remember her name. I think it was 'Liz' (or some such). She was recently separated from her husband of many years by whom she had two daughters. I was in a not-dissimilar situation at the time and so Liz and I had lots to write about...and compare. She was at least fifteen years younger than I and, although I no longer firmly recall even her name, I DO recall one thought-provoking assertion she made in the course of our months-long cyber-correspondence. She said that she believed that 'anyone could get along with anyone else...if they had no choice'. Recalled in this form, the assertion seems tautological but I believe it was (and is) quite deep. Her point was made in reference to any husband/wife type pairing...but one can extrapolate.
I was reminded of this long-ago exchange when I spotted a news piece about a study just published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology  The Journal article is about consumer choices in the marketplace but, like Liz's assertion, it can be applied more broadly. One researcher sums up the study this way: "The presumption is that self-determination is a good thing and that choice is essential to self-determination, but there's a point where all of this choice starts to be not only unproductive, but counterproductive:  a source of pain, regret, worry about missed opportunities and unrealistically high expectations."
It's not really such a 'new idea'...this 'too many choices' phenomenon. Most of us have reflected on the myriad life choices faced by someone in 2008 that had yet to be imagined by anyone in, say, 1908. Even today, in much of the world, marriages are pre-arranged and there's simply not enough money (or whatever form wealth might take) to allow for much, if any, choice in diet or living situations. There are tens of millions of people who subsist almost exclusively on rice, for example. Rice for breakfast, rice for lunch, rice for dinner and bedtime snack. Put another way, choice is not a necessity though nearly everyone craves variety (in spite of lice). 
And what became of Liz? I could probably find out! I do have a choice, after all: I can fire up the hard drive on my old Pentium II and perhaps then I'll remind myself of her name...and where she lives now...if she lives now. Perhaps I'll look her up on Zabasearch...or the SSDI.
And why did I stop writing to Liz? Well...because I had that choice! See...I soon came across a younger...and prettier Internet pen pal...from Texas! 

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

What America demands in her black champions is a brilliant, powerful body and a dull, bestial mind.
The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.
Too much agreement kills the chat.
I had seen that face [Robert F. Kennedy's] so many times before—hard, bitter, scurvy—all those things I had seen in his face on the bodies of nighttime burglars who had been in prison for at least ten years. [Quoted by Ross Douthat in The Atlantic.]

Eldridge Cleaver, (1935-1998)

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008               Erf Day

So this guy seated next to a little girl on a transcontinental airline flight turns to her and says, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' 
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, 'OK. What would you like to talk about?' 
'How about nuclear power?' says the guy...with a smile.
'OK', she says. 'That might be an interesting discussion, but let me ask you something first: a horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. Yet a deer excretes pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?' 
The guy, surprised as much by the girl's erudition as by her scatological interjection, replies, 'Hmm, I have no idea. I've never thought about it.'
To which the little girl replies, 'I don't see how you can be prepared to discuss nuclear power when you admit that you don't know shit! ' 

Monday, April 21st, 2008

"I tell you, between gasoline prices and the mortgage foreclosures, people are hurting. And you know who finally noticed this? John McCain.  He changed his position on people losing their homes from his original “Drop dead” to a new policy called “Go Fuck Yourself-Plus.” 
They had hearings this week about Iraq with General Petraeus and McCain had another senior moment where he couldn’t remember who the Sunnis are, the Shiites…I’m beginning to worry about this guy. They asked him afterwards if this would affect his presidential campaign, and he said, “I’m running for president?”
 Bill Maher

Sunday, April 20th, 2008

"Not the least of the reasons that the Beltway has gotten so much wrong this year is that it believes that 2008 is still 1988. It sees the country in its own image — static — instead of as a dynamic society whose culture and demographics are changing by the day. But some voters who lived through 1988 have changed, and quite a few others are dead.
When a Washington doyenne like Mary Matalin, freighted with jewelry, starts railing about elitists on “Meet the Press,” it’s pure farce.
Lou Dobbs, the man who plays a raging populist on CNN, dismissed Mr. Obama last week by saying “we don’t need another Ivy League-educated knucklehead.” Mr. Dobbs must know whereof he speaks, since he’s Harvard ’67.
Mrs. Clinton, not content merely to piously feign shock about Mr. Obama’s San Francisco soliloquy ('bitter, clinging to guns and religion'), couldn’t resist presenting herself as a macho, beer-swilling hunting enthusiast. This is as condescending as it gets, topping even Mitt Romney’s last-ditch effort to repackage himself to laid-off union workers as the love child of Joe Hill and Norma Rae."
Frank Rich

Saturday, April 19th, 2008

"Who goes out for wool often comes home shorn! " ancient proverb

Poor Phil. I suppose when Tricia, his trophy wife, hired a film crew to come to their Park Avenue penthouse to make a YouTube video of 'her side' of their not-quite-amicable divorce, he figured things couldn't get much worse. Phil's at least a quarter-century older than his svelte, blonde wife and, I imagine, he married her to impress his wealthy friends with his timeless virility. But tranqu'd-out Tricia put the kibosh on any of that sort of scuttlebutt when she declared (to an audience of two million...and counting) that (in addition to his being a stingy old trout), he never could get it up for her...even with a (chemical) crane! So what could Phil do but bury his bald head? His lawyer allowed as to how he was (is), well, "embarrassed"!
Within a few days of the appearance of the scurrilous video, things did get worse. Phil's hometown newspaper of record featured an article about nasty divorces in the Age of the Internet and used Tricia's video as the extreme example of the cyber-fury of a woman scorned. Now Phil has no place to hide. But there is some good news. His last name is 'Smith'.

"The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel."  GBS

Friday, April 18th, 2008             One Hundred Second Anniversary of the San Francisco Earthquake

Sex Among Seniors (Ew!)

David and his wife Roberta, both Medicare recipients, scrupulously avail themselves of the recommended annual physical exam:

The doctor had good news for David (he appeared to be in fine health) so he went on (as is routine) to ask the elderly gentleman if he had any new health concerns over the past year which he would now like to discuss. "In fact I do! ", replied David. "Ya see...after my wife and I have sex the first time, I am usually hot and  sweaty...but after the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." Frankly puzzled that a man of such advanced age was, evidently, still so interested in the pleasures of the flesh, the doctor told David that he might be able to offer an explanation once he had finished Roberta's evaluation.

So...after examining David's wife, he asked her if she had any new health concerns this year. She replied that she did not. The doctor said, "Well, your husband voiced a somewhat unusual concern. He claims that he is hot and sweaty after having sex the first time, but then cold and chilly after the second time. Can you think of why that might be?"
"Of course," said Roberta. "The first time is in July and the second time is in December! "

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

"I've served with seven presidents. When they come in, they all make mistakes. They all get older. This one guy running is about as old as me. Let me tell you something, it's no old man's job."
Congressman Jack Murtha, who turns 76 in June, commenting on John McCain, who will be 72 in August.

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

...and me without a spoon:

"...not all diet products feature the 'oily bowels' and 'anal leakage' that made alli an instant success. Because the active ingredient in alli, Orlistat, blocks the body's absorption of fat and ushers it out the bowels, sometimes before a person is ready or warned, GlaxoSmithKline originally cautioned users to bring backup underwear with them or wear dark colors. Users could even exchange 'accident support group' tips on alli's online message board.
In 1998, Frito Lay introduced WOW potato chips, made with Olestra, a chemically indigestible fat that passed right out of the body. Quickly. But two years after its introduction, Wow's sales tanked. Not only did it not make people thin, they didn't like its 'treatment effects'. " 
 Martha Rosenberg

Tuesday, April 15th, 2008               Lincoln died one hundred forty-three years ago and the Titanic sunk ninety-six years ago. 

I don't watch Jon Stewart much any more. Seems like ever since he first hosted the Oscars in 2006, he's become a self-caricature: perhaps eager to stay in the 'mainstream' after a sip of it. [He makes me think: Bob Hope.] I'm put off by the way the in-studio audience (for The Daily Show) fawns over his often-puerile material. But today he made a good (if obvious) point about this seemingly-endless question of whether or not Barack Obama's recent remarks (made in Marin County, of all places) about 'bitter' small-town people are 'elitist' comments. Let's leave aside the fact that Obama was merely re-stating what has been common wisdom for a near half-century: 'the times they are a changing' and American manufacturing jobs (long the staple of blue collar cradle-to-grave employment) have been going away...either leaving our shores or disappearing altogether in the face of (what used to simply be called) 'automation'. And yeah, Barack was right to observe that people who have been 'left behind' usually do cling to icons of their past. Religion, guns and racially non-diverse communities did characterize rural life fifty years ago.
But (moving back to the point) why and how did 'elite' and 'elitist' become smear words? Don't we want someone in a leadership role to be 'elite' (defined as 'representing the most choice or select; best')?
Rooting around on the 'Net for articles on this subject, I came across a piece written almost exactly one year ago by Bill Maher. An excerpt:

"The right-wing crusade to demonize elites has paid off. Now the country's run by incompetents who make mediocrity a job requirement. I don't get it: In other fields -- outside of government -- elite is a good thing. But in politics, elite is bad -- the elite aren't down-to-earth and accessible like you and me and President Shit-for-Brains."

Monday, April 14th, 2008   One hundred forty-three years ago, Lincoln was shot. Ninety-six years ago, the Titanic struck an iceberg. 

"She is running around talking about how...she values the Second Amendment....like she's Annie Oakley...like she's on the duck blind every Sunday. She's packing a six-shooter. This is the same person who took money from financial folks on Wall Street and then voted for a bankruptcy bill that makes it harder for folks right here to get a fair shake. This is the same person who spent a decade with her husband campaigning for NAFTA, and now goes around saying she's opposed to NAFTA."
Barack Obama

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

From today's Frank Rich column:

"Most Americans don’t want to hear, see or feel anything about Iraq, whether they support the war or oppose it. They want to look away, period, and have been doing so for some time. The simple explanation for why we shun the war is that it has gone so badly. But another answer was provided by Senator George Voinovich, who said, 'The truth of the matter is that we haven’t sacrificed one darn bit in this war...never been asked to pay a dime, except for the people that we lost.' A home front that has not been asked to invest directly in a war, that has subcontracted it to a relatively small group of volunteers, can hardly be expected to feel it has a stake in the outcome five stalemated years on. Mr. McCain says Americans want 'victory,' whatever that means today, and yes, they would if it could be won on the terms promised by Mr. Bush five years ago — fast, and with minimal sacrifice. Unable to even look at the fiasco anymore, the nation is now just waiting for someone to administer the last rites."

The suspense is over! By now we all know the identity of Miss USA 2008! She is Crystle Stewart, a 26 year-old 'entrepreneur' from (somewhere in) Texas! And...she's not just a pretty face with enormous boobs! No! She hold a degree in Consumer Science from the University of Houston! The Pageant was "one of the year's most exciting live television events" and how could it be otherwise? It was hosted by Donny and Marie, graced by the presence of world-renowned gold-digger Heather Mills and held in "in one of the world’s most electrifying cities (Las Vegas)"!

The Miss USA pageant has long been a poor man's Miss America Pageant. But this year, its organizers were looking to change that by featuring a contestant with cerebral palsy: Miss Iowa, Abbey Curran. After all, in 1995, Heather Whitestone was crowned Miss America...in spite of being stone deaf! Heather's motto is "with God's help, anything is possible!"

Friday, April 11th, 2008

Avoid inquisitive persons, for they are sure to be gossips, their ears are open to hear, but they will not keep what is entrusted to them. Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little. The covetous man is ever in want.

Fortune makes a fool of those she favors too much. Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.


Horace, 65-8, BC


Thursday, April 10th, 2008                     

                        From grape vine, pecan bark and yard-sale crystal:

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Reporter: What's your advice to the average American who is hurting now, facing the prospect of $4 a gallon gasoline, a lot of people facing...
Bush: Wait, what did you just say? You're predicting $4 a gallon gasoline?
Reporter: A number of analysts are predicting...
Bush: Oh, yeah?
Reporter: $4 a gallon gasoline this spring when they reformulate.
Bush: That's interesting. I hadn't heard that.
Reporter: Yes, sir.
From transcript of White House Press conference, February 28, 2008

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008               KC is nine years old. 

Monday, April 7th, 2008              Jerry Brown is seventy years old.

Rather little is known about the life of Jane Austen. During her forty-one year lifetime (1775-1817), she published nothing in her own name. Cameras had not yet been invented and there is but one contemporaneous drawing of her (by her sister, in 1810). She never married and it is thought that she succumbed to an illness (Hodgkin Lymphoma) that would not even have a name until 1832.
In 2008, she has a fan base which borders on a cult-following. Not everyone, however, has been mesmerized by her style, characterized by a frequent use of the double negative (e.g., 'not without', 'lack of scarcity', 'un-subdued'). Mark Twain said this about the absence of a Jane Austen novel from his ship's library: " Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it."

Yet I find her writing to be original...and stately. There is nothing vulgar (nary a reference to anything excretory or sexual) and nothing violent. She describes a world without automobiles or electricity and is unapologetic for the attention she gives to the importance of money as it shapes human pairings:

"Single Women have a dreadful propensity for being poor—which is one very strong argument in favour of Matrimony..."

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

Napoleon Bonaparte, 1769-1821

Saturday, April 5th, 2008                             Happy Birthday: Alice and Vincent 

Friday, April 4th, 2008                  

Well before my eightieth birthday, habit had become my master and one of my longstanding habits is to read myself to sleep. It's a 'safer' way to wind down than watching television because, with the latter, one has little control over what content may appear or with what pace that content is 'delivered'. I mean, ya might get sucked into a tennis match, a Lifetime movie, a baseball game, a gripping documentary, a breaking news story or...what I'm saying is that if your objective is to fall asleep, then often it won't happen soon with the boob tube. But with a book, you can simply read until it falls out of your hands.


Usually, I just look through whatever books my kids have left behind. Then I pick one...and start. Last year, I slogged through Dickens' Bleak House. At more than 900 pages (in the paperback form), it lasted nearly two months and, frankly, I can't remember now what it was about nor the name of a single character. Soporific, it was! A few weeks ago I finished Dashiell Hammett's The Maltese Falcon and then there was Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Death. Both made excellent bedtime fare. 

About a week ago, I found a paperback of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility. I had not before read anything by this iconic authoress and now I'm about halfway through her 1811 classic novel. By coincidence (and I discovered this by chance), PBS's Masterpiece Theater is broadcasting a new production of this work. It's shown in two parts: the first was shown last Sunday and the conclusion will air next Sunday. Part One was beautiful! 

Thursday, April 3rd, 2008

Fascinating factoids:

In 1900, a white person, at birth, could expect to live about 48 years while a black person could expect to live only about 33 years!
By 1950, those numbers were, respectively: 68 years and 61 years. 
By the year 2000, those numbers had risen to 77 and 72 years. 

By 2002, Japanese women had the world's longest life expectancy: about 85 years. 
Russian men had the shortest expected lifespan: about 59 years.  
According to Pamela Druckerman, in Russia, "by age 65 there are just 46 men left for every 100 women."

According to the latest statistics published by our Center for Disease Control, a person born today in the United States will, on average, live 78 years...one or two more if female, one or two fewer if male. 

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him.

Keep Ted Turner and his goddamned Crayolas away from my movies!

The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.

Living in the lap of luxury isn't bad, except that you never know when luxury is going to stand up.

Whether or not you have a happy ending depends upon where you stop your story.

Orson Welles, 1915-1985

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Monday, March 31st, 2008

"Be courteous to all but intimate with few. It is better to be alone than in bad company."
"The practice of cursing and swearing is a vice. Every person of sense and character despises it."
"Make the most of the hemp seed and sow it everywhere."
"We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors." 
"If the freedom of speech is taken away then, dumb and silent, we may be led like sheep to the slaughter."
"Permit me to put on my spectacles, for I have grown not only gray, but almost blind, in the service of my country."

George Washington, 1732-1799

Sunday, March 30th, 2008     When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. ---Prince Philip

An inquest into the deaths resulting from a ten year-old traffic accident would, ordinarily, not be a rich source of high humor and titillating gossip, but if that accident took the lives of the Princess of Wales and the son of one of the world's wealthiest men...

Here is an edited (much condensed) excerpt from the testimony of Mohammed Al-Fayed, given on 2/18/08 in the courtroom of Lord Justice Scott Baker, Assistant Deputy Coroner for Inner West London. Briefly, it is Mr. Al Fayed's contention that the accident was no accident and that virtually everyone who ate breakfast that day within three thousand miles of Paris, participated in a conspiracy to hide 'the truth'. 

"I told him exactly what clicked in my mind, all what Diana had told me, exactly what happened. And I know that Diana is not hallucinating. It is  factual. She suffered for 20 years this Dracula family...Prince Charles or Prince Philip, and the minute that she can see happiness and love at the end in a family which she respects, they don't let  her do that and they took my son with her. I am sure [Prince Charles] knows what is going on to happen because he would like to get on and marry Camilla...his crocodile wife and he is happy with that.
But I think Prince Philip is the actual head of the Royal Family and he is a racist, as anybody knows. It is well known: he [grew up] with the Nazis.  He was brought up by his auntie who [married] Hitler's General. This is the guy who is now in charge and manipulating everything and can do anything. They are still living in the 18th/19th century. Time to send him back to Germany where he comes from. You want to have his original name? It ends with 'Frankenstein'...and here is a picture of him walking with a Hitler General at 15 years old. What do you want proof more than that? I am in no doubt whatsoever that my son and Princess Diana were murdered by the British security services on the orders of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh."

Mr. Al Fayed is undeterred by evidence not in line with his convictions. He insists, for example, that Diana was pregnant (with his grandchild) on the night of her death...in spite of a simple reason why she could not have been. He dismisses official findings that his employee driver, Henri Paul, was quite legally drunk at the wheel of the ill-fated Mercedes...in spite of post-mortem analyses and video surveillance (from Al Fayed's own hotel security system) showing the chauffer drinking at the hotel's bar in the hours before the crash. He brushes away the embarrassing revelation that his noble son (supposedly on the cusp of announcing his engagement to the Princess) was 'two-timing' Diana during the summer of 1997...in spite of a twenty-minute surreptitiously-made recording (played at the inquest) of a telephone conversation between his son, Dodi, and the 'other woman', model Kelly Fisher, who had gone so far as to sue the younger Mr. Al Fayed in the weeks before his untimely death, claiming 'breach of contract' because Dodi 'seduced Diana all day and fucked me all night!"

Still, the senior Mr. Al Fayed does not lack public sympathy for his scattershot theories. Anyone who has witnessed The Queen will concur that Prince Philip is a royal asshole!  

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

Every new life is a new thing under the sun; there has never been anything just like it before, never will be again. A young man ought to get that idea about himself; he should look for the single spark of individuality that makes him different from other folks, and develop that for all he is worth. Society and schools may try to iron it out of him; their tendency is to put it all in the same mold, but I say don't let that spark be lost; it is your only real claim to importance. 

Henry Ford, 1863-1947   

Friday, March 28th, 2008                      Happy Birthday, Betty!

On Monday and Tuesday of this week, PBS's Frontline aired a compelling four-hour two-part documentary on Iraq, called "Bush's War". For most of us, it's not easy to set aside two hours on two consecutive nights to watch anything on the boob tube but, thankfully, the whole program may be viewed online in convenient ~ten minute segments. I'm now about midway through Part II. My sister has it right: the narrator (Will Lyman) imparts a not-inappropriate 'sinister tone' to the production. It is chilling to watch the hubristic demeanor (in early 2003) of the architects of a war that, today, is widely seen to have been "a blunder of historic proportions". And yes, it is jaw-dropping to view the video clips of Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Powell, Rumsfeld and Rice as they confidently make dozens of declarations (and predictions) that were soon shown to be false (and wrong)! All this would, in fact, be humorous if the consequences weren't (and aren't) tragic. 
Nonetheless, the production has come in for some criticism from 'the left' for what is deemed to be its 'lightweight' handling of what ought to (especially now) be seen as extraordinary (if not criminal) feats of prevarication and incompetence, not only on the part of the government, but also on the part of a national press corps that seemed to have learned nothing from Vietnam, Watergate and Iran-Contra. The venerable Ray McGovern, for example, has written a piece posted on antiwar.com entitled Frontline: Too Timid, Too Little, Too Late. It's hard to argue with Ray's point-by-point critique because he is, by any measure, a veteran varsity policy wonk. But most people (even news junkies like myself) will find this documentary to be riveting. It does not belabor the obvious nor does it pander to plebian notions of 'fair and balanced'. Rather, it's constructed with 'see for yourself' footage...enough to confront and confound even the most stubborn of Bush's few remaining apologists. 

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

"Some people try to make friends, I just try to make money."

"No one ever made a dime by panicking!"

"Bear Stearns is fine! Do not take your money out. Bear Stearns is not in trouble.
 Don't move your money from Bear! That's just being silly! "
Jim Cramer, Stock Market Guru, on his March 11th 'Mad Money' show on CNBC

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

Dateline: Bradenton, Florida

He says his arrest is a mistake...that he was merely curious as to why the pretty girl ("with her boobs hangin' out" ) smiled at him as he drove by. He says he swung back around just to get to chat with her. 

"I haven't had that in years! I'm 93!", he said, on his way home from jail (for a nap) after his daughter bailed him out. 

I'm not bothered by this guy's lingering prurient interests so much as I am by the fact that he still drives a car! 

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Time for a movie review:

Like cats underfoot, the sub plots weave side-to-side, interrupting, obstructing and delaying the main plot.
Oh, there's the rejected lover: torn between allegiance to his career (as a lapdog for a soul-less Senator) and his urge to 'do the right thing', even if that means helping a former rival.
There's the Yuppie newbie CIA agent, torn between loyalty to his government's capricious directives and his sense of fair play (and, of course, lust for his to-die-for Arab girlfriend).
There's the nubile Arab teenager, torn between passion for a newly-minted jihadist and love for her tradition-bound family (including her violent, authoritarian father).  Then there's the eight-year-old boy, who keeps asking, 'Where's Daddy?'
And through-it-all, there's the ever-faithful with-child wife...and mother, reduced to knocking on locked doors...and seeking mercy where none is ever found.

Rendition seeks to exploit, for entertainment, this decade's controversy about the methods to which the United States has descended in its GWOT. It's a dreary, sententious piece carried out by a pricey cast which includes Reese Witherspoon (lovely as always), Jake Gyllenhaal (of queer cowboys fame), Meryl Streep (reprising her nasty-bitch persona from The Devil Wears Prada) and Alan Arkin (who simply won't go away, even after his embarrassing performance in Little Miss Daisy).
Now...this movie is not bad (like a Robin Williams offering  always is). It's just:  who the hell thinks it's entertaining to watch some poor innocent slob get snatched and spirited away to a dismal desert land where he gets chained up in a shit hole, stripped naked, beaten, half-drowned, starved and electro-shocked until he tells his brutal interrogators anything they want to hear?  The fact that the reality of any such government-sponsored caper must be worse than what's depict-able in a two-hour Hollywood feature (especially one with shop-worn actors like Ms. Streep and Mr. Arkin) only compounds the tedium attendant upon seeing all this through to its depressing and predictable conclusion. 

More is bitten off than can be chewed.
 Nothing is digested but there's no appetite for more. 
 Lukewarm between the teeth...and cold on the plate.

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008       "He has been raised from the dead!"      

Excerpt from an interview conducted on 3/19/08:

VP: On the security front, I think there’s a general consensus (sic) that we’ve made major progress, that the surge has worked. That’s been a major success.

Reporter: Two-third of Americans say it’s not worth fighting.

VP: So?

Reporter: So? You don’t care what the American people think?

VP: No. I think you cannot be blown off course by the fluctuations (huh?) in the public opinion polls.