Web Log Archive, April 2nd through April 15th, 2006

 

Saturday, April 15th, 2006

Geez...ya can't even insult yourself anymore without putting somebody's bowels in a uproar!

This from the Associated Press:


"Tiger meant nothing derogatory to any person or persons and apologizes for any offense caused," IMG agent Mark Steinberg said on Woods' official Web site. After finishing tied for third at the Masters on Sunday, Woods said, "I putted atrociously today. Once I got on the greens, I was a spaz." 

If he had called himself an 'idiot', would the Association For Retarded Citizens have demanded an apology?

What's black and comes in a white box?.

Friday, April 14th, 2006   A Famous Day!

One hundred seventy-eight years ago today, the first edition of Noah Webster's Dictionary was published.

One hundred forty-one years ago tonight, Abraham Lincoln was shot.

Ninety-four years ago tonight, the RMS Titanic struck an iceberg.


Thursday, April 13th, 2006

So much to worry about. So little time.

[Courtesy of KB]
Who Ever Loved That Loved Not at First Sight?

It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is overruled by fate.
When two are stripped, long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should love, the other win;

And one especially do we affect
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows; let it suffice
What we behold is censured by our eyes.
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?

Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593) 

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006

"We do not want the Iranians to have a nucular weapon, the capacity to make a nucular weapon or the knowledge to have a nucular weapon." Guess who?

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006               It's four one one!

In case you've been living under a rock, scientists have, at last, found the 'missing link'!

  
"I think it's completely outrageous! He treated me like a 6-year-old, like I don't know what I'm doing." Mayvis Coyle

"There's an ongoing legal proceeding which precludes me from talking a lot about the case.
 There's also an ongoing investigation that's a serious investigation," he said.
Monday, April 10th, 2006
  
"Steve told me you shouldn't send your bills out until you've got money in your account.
 
I just kinda stood there and looked at him," she said.
Reprinted without permission: [Long's Drugs prescription insert]


 
 


Sunday, April 9th, 2006

"We’re seven thousand miles from home, telling the Iraqis and the Iranians what kind of government they will have, backed up by the use of our military force, and we call them the aggressors." US Representative Ron Paul of Texas



Saturday, April 8th, 2006               KC cat is seven years old today.

“The good news is Democrats don’t have much of a plan. The bad news is they may not need one.” Republican Pollster Tony Fabrizio

In 1843, John Quincy Adams became the first president to be photographed (but not while he was in office). 

Friday, April 7th, 2006

Among many current (call them) 'malapropisms' (in the category of 'I could care less') are these:

'Save up to 50% or more on your car insurance!'
'One cannot underestimate the importance of eating a balanced diet!'
'I certainly do not ascribe to the philosophy of David Duke!' 
'At your bequest, I have put a stop-payment on the check.'
'If I never eat another McDonald's hamburger, it won't be too soon!'

Thursday, April 6th, 2006

"I have the grace of the Lord with me every day, all day long. "That is why I am totally at peace with this decision. I have a sense of joy about it because I walk with the Lord. He guides me and so I haven't fallen from his grace. Probably right now, the one I struggle with the most is loving your enemies. I'm working on it." Tom Delay

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006                  Happy Birthday, Alice!   Happy Birthday, Vincent!

Sonnet #50
How heavy do I journey on the way,
When what I seek, my weary travel's end,
Doth teach that ease and that repose to say,
'Thus far the miles are measur'd from thy friend!'
The beast that bears me, tired with my woe,
Plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,
As if by some instinct the wretch did know
His rider lov'd not speed, being made from thee:
The bloody spur cannot provoke him on
That sometimes anger thrusts into his hide,
Which heavily he answers with a groan
More sharp to me than spurring to his side;
For that same groan doth put this in my mind:
My grief lies onward, and my joy behind.		 Sonnet #60
Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,
So do our minutes hasten to their end;
Each changing place with that which goes before,
In sequent toil all forwards do contend.
Nativity, once in the main of light,
Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crown'd,
Crooked eclipses 'gainst his glory fight,
And Time that gave doth now his gift confound.
Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth
And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,
Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,
And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:
And yet to times in hope my verse shall stand,
Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

"In an interview Monday night, Richard Cullen, Mr. DeLay's principal criminal defense lawyer, said that his client had been pondering a withdrawal from the race for some time and that 'it had nothing to do with any criminal investigation.' "

Monday, April 3rd, 2006

The enthusiasm of Monsignor Slawomir Oder is infectious. Ya see, Slaw is the Polish cleric who is spearheading JP2's cause for beatification on the Catholic road to canonization (Sainthood). Father Oder says the Pope's lifetime of suffering is a key theme of his investigation!

As I have written once before in this space, in order to become a Catholic Saint,
there are two sine qua nons:
First, you must be dead and,
Second, you must have had a shitty time down here.
The competition is stiff. 
Benedict 24 puts it this way: "The Holy Father, with his words and works, gave us great things, but no less important is the lesson that he gave us in the cathedral of suffering and silence." In other words, JP2 wasn't a whiner and, by God, that oughta count for something on his résumé!

Hey! I'm with these dudes! I mean, just dare to imagine how different (and how much better) things will be after JP2 has been beatified and how really different (and better) they will be after he is canonized!



Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

I have long thought it important to know if someone I live with is planning to kill me.
That's why I'm grateful to Dr. Robi Ludwig for her insightful new book entitled,
"Till Death Do Us Part: Love, Marriage and the Mind of the Killer Spouse."

She writes that we are well-advised to sleep with our eyes open if our mate's traits include any of these:  

1) shows poor impulse control,
2) searches out easy pleasure (i.e., is a 'thrill seeker') and
3) pathologically idealizes us.

And...while the possession of these traits may simply mean that your significant other is a jerk...why put your life at risk when it's such a simple thing, really, to know the score. Just for example...on those occasions when your partner (suddenly-but-uncharacteristically kind-and-attentive) has prepared a meal...or a refreshing beverage...for you both...why not switch plates...or glasses or cups...and study his (or her) expressions and reactions as you do so?
Life offers few certainties (and there's as much art here as science), but Dr. Ludwig's 'research' does reveal that you are less likely to find yourself at the bottom of the Bay if your partner is:
1) predictable (read: 'boring'),
2) never wants to do anything fun and
3) is not especially fond of you...but does seem to 'like you OK'.

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