Web Log Archive, February 10th through February 23rd, 2008
Saturday, February 23rd, 2008
For all who have been misinformed, Mr. (Fred) Rogers was not
1)
ever convicted of child molestation,
2) ever a sniper or Navy Seal during the Vietnam War
3) ever furtively flashing his middle finger at the little stinkers who
faithfully watched his show or
4) ever always wearing long-sleeve shirts and sweaters to conceal the many
tattoos (he received in prison while
serving his sentence for child molestation).
Fred's record has (nearly five years to the day after his passing) hereby been set straight, courtesy of Snopes.com.
Friday, February 22nd, 2008 George Washington was born two hundred and seventy-six years ago.
I'm
getting fed up hearing about civilian casualties; I think we ought to
nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning.
Canadians better hope the United States does not roll over
one night and crush them. They're lucky we allow them to exist on the same
continent.
My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is that he did not go
to the New York Times Building.
Press passes can't be so hard to come by if the
White House allows that old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within a few yards of the
President.
We should invade their countries, kill
their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
Never mind his carbon footprint — have you seen
the size of Al Gore's regular footprint lately? It's almost as deep as
Janet Reno's!
Thursday, February 21st, 2008
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul.
Lack of money is the root of all evil.
The liar's punishment is not that he is not believed, but
that he cannot believe anyone else.
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden
truth.
The power of accurate observation is commonly called
cynicism by those who have not got it.
The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave
in a quarrel.
George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008 Patty Hearst is Fifty-Four
"Unless
you meet the man of your dreams (who, by the way, doesn’t exist, precisely
because you dreamed him up), there’s going to be a downside to getting
married, but a possibly more profound downside to holding out for
someone better. For a lot of women, it becomes less about love and more about
what they can live with. While being with a partner who is “beneath you” is
problematic, being single just plain sucks.
I realize that if I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, I’ll
likely need to settle for someone who is settling for me."
From a great article in the latest issue of The
Atlantic by
Lori Gottlieb. It's called 'Marry
Him': the case for settling for Mr. Good
Enough.
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
Monday, February 18th, 2008
"Preparation H gives fast, temporary relief!" is a well-known and excellent example of how a word may be emphasized within a spoken sentence so as to convey precisely the opposite of the actual, dictionary meaning of that word. When that sentence is spoken with the emphasis on 'temporary', it leaves the impression that the relief given by the product is 'permanent'. And permanent is, of course, better than temporary...at least when you're talking about pain relief.
Mike
Huckabee is a master of such forensic manipulation. The other day he was
delivering a speech to a 'conservative' audience which included the requisite
rant about illegal immigration. For the record (and not germane
to this discussion), Mike is considered to be a 'moderate' on this issue,
in the sense that he does not favor the wholesale roundup and
deportation of everyone who cannot offer proof of citizenship on demand. First,
he walked his listeners through a description of the United Parcel Service
(UPS) package-tracking system: how the company can track any
package within its system from warehouse to welcome mat. After outlining what
is, we all agree, a fine system, he finished up with a well-timed
applause line: "So...if UPS can keep track of a ten dollar
package, shouldn't our Immigration Service be able to keep track of ten million
foreign visitors?" He got the eager applause he had
played for but...No! I mean...can't we all
agree that it's far easier to keep track of a single parcel than it is
to keep track of even one foreign visitor...let alone millions of
them?
A second example of Huckabee's (let me call it) 'sorcery' involves a speech he gave a few days ago, justifying the fact that he is staying in the race for the GOP Presidential nomination even though it has been established that he would have to win 115% of the remaining primary delegates in order to best John McCain. He likes to tell his listeners that, in college, he didn't "major in math" but, rather, he "majored in miracles." Well...that's fine, but he went on to 'point out' to his audience that McCain was (only) winning primaries in states that "didn't matter" (to the GOP)...like New York and California. That is, McCain was winning in states that weren't going to go to the Republican candidate in November anyway. Huh? This is a head-scratcher for sure. Ya mean...it's more important to win one's own party's primary in a state that your party is going to win anyway like, say, Wyoming? Truly, no matter how you sort out what Mike is 'pointing out', it don't make no sense! But, of course, his live audience applauded enthusiastically as he made this 'point'...whatever it was.
I've been a political junkie for nearly fifty years but I've never witnessed a candidate as smooth (especially while being ridiculous) as Mike Huckabee. He's a polished performer...a savvy salesman who could (as the saying goes) "sell ice to an Eskimo!"
Sunday, February 17th, 2008
Sometimes a joke is so bad...it's good! Such a one comes to us today...courtesy of Mr. and Mrs. Zaro:
On
a slow news day, a local station was interviewing an 80-something lady on the
occasion of her fourth marriage. Working from notes, the reporter asked the
octogenarian what this, her latest, husband did for a living. "Why
he's a funeral director," she said.
She was then asked to tell the listeners something about each of her first
three husbands. "Well," she
answered, "the first (in my
twenties) was a banker, the second (in my forties)
was a circus performer and the third (in my sixties) was a
preacher."
The reporter, adept at small talk, remarked as to how that was "quite
a cross-section of careers!"
"Yes," replied the
old bird. "I married one for the money, two for
the show, three to get ready and four to go!"
Saturday, February 16th, 2008
"Suffer
little children to come unto me, and forbid them not:
for the kingdom of God
belongs to such as these."
From the Gospel
of Luke, Chapter 18, Verse 16
"I
am a positive person and enjoy doing things for others.
I have always tried to help anyone who crossed my path who was in need. If I am guilty of anything, it is of being too trusting of others; wanting
to see the best in everyone; and being nice to everyone. I have freely and without question shared the talents God gave me with
children, young and old, and will continue to do so. I have been blessed with a will and
heart that carry me on in life."
From the Testimony
of Roger Clemons before the United States House of Representatives
Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.
Friday, February 15th, 2008
"He was found wearing two wet suits,
a face mask, diving gloves, slippers, rubberized underwear, two ties, five belts
and eleven straps, according to the medical examiner's report."
Russell
Goldman
Thursday, February 14th,
2008
St. Valentine's Day
"When Adam and Eve first saw each
other, that's when the blues started. No matter what anybody says, it all comes
down to the same thing: a man and a woman, a broken heart, a broken home. You
know what I mean?"
John Lee Hooker 1917-2001
Wednesday, February, 13th, 2008 Happy Birthday, Debbie!
Tuesday, February, 12th, 2008 Abraham Lincoln was born one hundred ninety-nine years ago.
Lincoln was the first president to have a beard while in office and was
the tallest...at six feet, four inches.
He was the first president to be photographed at his inauguration.
He loved animals. He had a cat named "Bob," a turkey named
"Jack" and a dog named "Jib."
On the night of his murder, his pockets contained two pairs of glasses, an
ivory and silver pocketknife, a linen handkerchief, a Confederate five-dollar
bill, a gold watch fob, and a new leather wallet with a pencil inside of it.
He was the only president ever to receive a patent: for a device that
lifted ships over shoals in the water.
He was known for keeping an untidy office and for his loud and resonant laugh.
He admired the works of Edgar Allan Poe.
Courtesy of Garrison
Keillor
The earliest known photograph of Abraham Lincoln...at age
thirty eight...taken by Nicholas
H. Shepherd.
Monday, February, 11th, 2008
Sunday, February 10th, 2008 Happy Birthday, BRC!
"She was my soul mate. She
was kind, caring.
She looked past all my flaws to bring out the best in me.
She always looked me in the eyes, always with a smile, as if she won the
lottery."
Teddy
Efkarpides of Sunrise,
Florida