Web Log Archive, November 4th through November 17th, 2007

Saturday, November 17th, 2007

"The long buildup to the American-sponsored Middle East peace conference scheduled for November 25-27 in Annapolis, Maryland, together with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s many trips to the region, have given birth to a new verb in Israeli government circles: “lecondel,” meaning "to come and go for meetings that produce few results".

Israeli and American officials have been so busy dampening expectations that they are not even calling the event a 'conference' anymore, instead referring to it merely as a 'meeting'. "
Steven Erlanger

Friday, November 16th, 2007

Larry, from the Yahoo! Carfix_Online Group, of which I am a member, just sent me this YouTube link (called 'Get Out of Debt'), starring Steve Martin. It contains THE secret to sound money management! 

According to an article in today's San Francisco Bird Cage Liner, Barry Bonds was 5 foot, 11 inches tall and weighed 185 pounds in 1986 but, by 2001, he was 6 foot, 2 inches tall and weighed 228 pounds.

Thursday, November 15th, 2007

A lawyer parked his brand new Porsche in front of his office. As he got out, a truck came along too close and tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a nearby cop in a police cruiser saw what had happened and pulled up behind the Porsche, lights flashing. But before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his new car had been ruined.
The baffled police officer shook his head. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are! You are always so focused on your possessions that you overlook the most important things in life "
"How can you say such a thing?" said the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Haven't you noticed that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you! "
"Oh My God," screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!"

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

"We've come together here simply for one reason and one reason only: To very reverently and respectfully pray up a storm! It's time to appeal to Him who can and will make a difference!"
  Sonny Perdue, Governor of the Great State of Georgia
 

"Would the citizens of Georgia sit idly by if this batshit governor were to use taxpayer money to schedule a Native American Rain Dance, or to summon a Witches Council to create some mystical brew in a cauldron in front of the statehouse? Would they sit idly by if Governor Purdue ordered the sacrifice of a goat or a lamb or some other small animal?"
 Jack Oceano, Attorney at Law, Orlando, Florida

Poster by Dani Michele

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007         Not all the news is bad!

"It's truly a miracle! It's a feel-good story with a great ending for us and the dog!"
Pat Tucker

Monday, November 12th, 2007

Often, what people refer to as 'thinking' is something more akin to 'hoping'. It is common to think (hope) that mental health and happiness are 'normal'. Whatever is not normal is 'pathological' and might be 'corrected'...perhaps by simply doing more thinking (hoping) about it...maybe even with the help of another: a process called 'counseling'. The term 'pathology' is (too) often used tautologically to designate any departure from the health and happiness that we all think (hope) is normal.
But if someone can't find happiness, what is 'not normal' about that? I mean, by what or whose 'reasoning' do we conclude that it is normal for a person to be happy? Maybe some unhappy individual has been burdened with insight, yet also lacks the gifts of imagination and creativity whereby that insight might be subjugated...'brought to heel' as it were. Or maybe there is no explanation! What if there are more questions than answers?
Our modern world is glutted with distractions. If you don't want to ponder whatever meaning your life does or does not have, that's OK. You can find plenty of like-minded people to keep you company while you don't.

Sunday, November 11th, 2007

"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."


"When a subject is highly controversial —and any question about sex is that —one cannot hope to tell the truth."

"Once you begin to take yourself seriously, you become a self-conscious, biting, and scratching little animal whose work is not of the slightest value or importance to anyone."

"A light here required a shadow there."

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

So this guy drives to town and goes into a bakery for a Danish and comes out a few minutes later to find a cop writing a parking ticket and so he says to the cop, "Come on, fella! How 'bout givin' a guy a break! I was only in there for five minutes! " 
The cop ignores him and keeps writing the ticket. 
So the guy says, "Why, you jack-booted thug! What are you, some kind a Nazi!?! "
At this, the cop pauses long enough to give the guy a cold stare before beginning to write a second ticket, pointing out that the car has a small crack in the windshield.
So the guy says, "Oh, I see! Power trip, huh? Hey look, if you don't lay off the Big Macs, you're gonna get your fat ass thrown off the force! Do you realize that, you pig!?! " 
At this, the cop calmly (but forcefully) swings his night stick into one of the car's tail lights and then proceeds to write yet a third ticket for a broken tail light! 
Finally, he says to the guy, "Keep it up, buddy. I got lots more tickets where these came from!"
"Write all the tickets you want," says the guy, "That's not my car!"

Friday, November 9th, 2007

Plato is boring!

To predict the behavior of ordinary people, you have only to assume that they will try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.

Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful!

A man of insight must not only love his enemies; he must also hate his friends.

The invalid is a parasite on society. Past a certain state it is indecent to go on living. To vegetate on in cowardly dependence on physicians and medicaments after the meaning of life...the right to life...has been lost ought to entail the profound contempt of society.

                                                       
Thursday, November 8th, 2007

I'm sure, like me, you were blindsided by the revelation that born-again Christian Duane Chapman, (AKA, Dog, the Bounty Hunter) is a potty-mouth who even says 'nigger' in private conversations! 
Unless you've been living in Tora Bora, by now you know that one of Dog's sons, Tucker (rhymes with...) (during an out-of-prison stretch), surreptitiously recorded a telephone conversation with his dad some months ago. The subject of this exchange was Tucker's ongoing intimate relationship with a young black woman. Dog can be heard expressing himself on the recording, telling his son that such miscegenetic pairing is, well, out of his (Dog's) 'comfort zone'. Bye and bye, Tucker was persuaded, for some undisclosed compensation, to share a copy of this recording with the folks at the National Enquirer. The rest is, as we say, 'public'!
To Dog's credit, he did not immediately check himself into rehab for addiction to booze and pills. Rather, he embarked on an 'I'm Sorry' tour. After prostrating himself before (The Reverend) Al Sharpton (the man in charge of our nation's black people), the next requisite stop was the Larry King (the man in charge of our nation's dumb people) Show, on which, referring to Tucker, he said, "You know, I went to the Lord and said, you know, Lord, forgive him, because he doesn't know what he's doing. You know, how can you -- how mad can you get at your own kid? You can't hate him. You can't hate him. I'm disappointed and wonder where -- did that -- did that traitor stuff come from prison? Did that, you know, where do you learn to be a traitor at?"
The Lord's response to Dog's entreaty has yet to be revealed.  

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

Photos courtesy of Skip.

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007                 Happy Birthday, Lin!

Geez! I caught a little bit of Robert Redford being interviewed tonight by that imbecile, Larry King! Somebody needs to tell Robert that he's...well, boooooooooring! But at least he's not a nuclear-powered asshole...like Jerry Seinfeld  (whom Larry interviewed last week)!

“She kept talking into her phone for about 30 seconds before she realized there was no one listening on the other end!” 'Andrew', a San Francisco Architect...and commuter, describing what happened on a BART train when he activated his portable cell phone jammer to disrupt a cell phone conversation (half of to which he was being forced to listen) being conducted by the young woman sitting next to him.
On Sunday, I took public transportation from Mountain View to El Cerrito and I do affirm that the half-conversations to which I was subjected numbered into the dozens! It's like, in any group of people larger than, say, ten...there's almost sure to be someone yammering away on a cell phone...oblivious to everyone within actual earshot. It's as if the very concept of 'consideration' for (or even awareness of) others has evaporated in the year 2007! 

Now...if only someone would invent a device to defeat remotely-triggered car horns, this urban environment might once again be habitable by those of us who still have a nervous system! ^_^

Monday, November 5th, 2007

From the Real Estate page of our local fish wrap: The Journal. 

<<<Click to view entire article. 

"Due to their frequent contact with unfamiliar people in private locations, real estate agents face more on-the-job risks than many other business professionals. According to the most recent statistics from the National Safety Council, there were 57 violent crimes committed against real estate practitioners in 2001. Six of them were fatal.
In a recent NAR safety survey of REALTORS®, 67 percent of respondents have experienced safety concerns, incidents, or other harassing situations while working as a REALTOR®. A majority of issues involve open houses or vacant property. Other issues include unfriendly dogs, unsafe property, and threatening or harassing phone calls." National Association of Realtors

But these days, I suspect that these 'business professionals' might have more to worry about from people who are familiar to them...like clients they have steered into taking out 'creative' loans that could never be repaid.

And once the agent gets his or her commission...?

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

"We were booked on standby because this couple didn't think they'd make it to the flight, but then they caught a fast taxi and were able to bump us back off. I was kind of bummed out, because I was 12 and I was going to get to visit the captain in the cockpit. Then the next morning we all read the news. Awful stuff. And you know, many years later I got bumped off a flight again, and people around me were pissed - but not me. I just said, 'Hey, I could tell you a story.' "
 Robert Nelson, age 62

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